A feminist, queer punk rocker with a mohawk and tattoos sharing her insight with the world.
AIM: punkrockboi25
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Thoughts of Jess Five
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Victim or Culprit? Life in the Matrix.
I found an old vest I covered in patches and painted on the back, “Victim or Culprit?” It’s something I think about sometimes, “Are we a victim of society or a culprit for perpetuating the system?”
When I lived in New York City, the closest grocery store to my apartment was Whole Foods. Whole Foods is corporation that’s not very sustainable. To the consumer, it’s pretty awesome that they have fruits and vegetables from all over the world so nothing is ever out of season. However, it’s not so cool all the energy used to transport the goods. Was I a mere victim of the corporation for having to buy my food there or was I a culprit that was continuing the system?
I try not to support sweatshops and slave labor but sometimes it’s unavoidable in this Matrix. I’d say about 75% of my clothing is from the United States and European Countries. The remaining 25% is from questionable origins. I try really hard to be ethical with everything I consume but sometimes things slip through the cracks. Am I a victim or a culprit?
Choice is a very limited commodity. Sometimes the choice is left up to the lesser of two evils. For example, I am an anarchist but I helped the Obama campaign because I didn’t want McCain to win. I don’t believe in the corrupt political system we have, however, just because I don’t believe in it isn’t going to make it go away or stop affecting my life. If things are going to change, it is going to because people work for it. Apathy is never the solution. But, it’s really hard when given two choices with almost the same agenda.
I usually go for independent and handmade over mass produced and corporate. People who are living on very tight budgets don’t really have the luxury of making that choice. They need to go with what’s available. I watched the movie Food, Inc. and the movie followed a family on a tight budget. When only having a dollar to spend to feed their hungry kid, it’s easiest to go to a fast food chain and get the dollar menu items to satisfy their hunger. Fruits and vegetables are more expensive than meat because of how the government subsidizes the food supply. The family out of need would go with the unhealthier options because it’s cheaper because money is the deciding factor. Are they a victim because of financial restrictions? Or are they the culprit for supporting the system?
Nothing is really black and white. There is a system of control that built up making the world how it is now. There’s so many systems within systems within systems that it’s mind boggling. With the structure of society that we have, living a hunting and gathering lifestyle just isn’t an option in the modern American city as even the trees aren’t from the city. They are planned and developed. With the absence of nature and being born into this system to begin with, from birth to death we aren’t given a choice as to the way we should live. Are we victims in the Matrix or the culprit who makes it?
On Vegetarianism - thinking about going Vegan again
This has been on my mind for a few days. I watched The Meatrix a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about one scene. I thought by being vegetarian - I was free of consuming anything flesh-like. Apparently, that’s not true because the meat industry feeds the dairy cows both cow’s blood and animal byproducts. Really, really gross.
One of my acquaintance made the mistake of asking how I was. Never ask me this unless you really want to know. I mentioned I was thinking about going vegan and and she asked “why” I was thinking about being vegan. I should have known better to stop the conversation there because such things with meat eaters always end in conflict. I told her I was already a vegetarian and that I found out they feed calves blood which is gross. She agreed with me and mentioned she enjoyed eating meat. I should have politely withdraw from the conversation at that point - which I will do next time - but I commented how eating meat is eating a tortured corpse. She was like, “Some people see it that way, other don’t.” Which I responded, “It doesn’t matter what your belief is - it’s what it is.”
The conversation went downhill at that point. As I believe meat eating to be one of the most selfish things a person can do. It’s literally saying, “I get pleasure from your pain. My life is more valuable than yours.” which is completely unnecessary in this day and age where we control our food supply and grow lots of vegetables. It’s also a waste of energy getting food energy from first making it into meat and not taking it in it’s direct form. I see meat eating as being a murderer. I do not tolerate it in any shape or form.
What about vegetarianism? I was vegan for about four months but honestly, I got lazy. I liked pancakes and certain things that I fell back in the habit of having eggs and dairy. So, I figured I’d stick with being a vegetarian. I’m way too sensitive to eat meat. I knew the eggs and dairy industry were bad and the animals had unhappy lives. I thought I could live with that but lately, I haven’t been feeling it. Rather, I feel so deeply that unlike how most people are desensitized and detached - I really feel the effect of everything I do.
I used to be your average kid doing average things: playing violent video games, watching violent movies, and feasting on the dead. I was a proud product of the system; a registered democrat - I drove down to the post office on my 18th birthday to register to vote and do my civil duties. I thought freedom and equality was established with civil war and women’s rights movement. That Martin Luther King ended racism. In other words, rather brainwashed. The system did a good job on me.
Then a lot of things happened. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. I always questioned things like I wasn’t sure if we really landed on the moon. But, I never thought to question myself and my foundation. It was outside my scope of experience. As I became more aware, I thought maybe I should become vegetarian but I never thought I could do it. I thought I liked meat too much. I was really conditioned. I started getting into riot grrrl and some punk my first year of college. I didn’t even know it was called “riot grrrl” back then.
Anyways, after lots and lots of questioning - still questioning and searching I arrive at who I am today. I am still growing and am not the final product by any means. Maybe the next step in the evolution is to go vegan because I can’t stand what they do to the animals. Life is life and precious. I have no right to decide if certain animals like pets should have a life of luxury while others have hell simply because they make stuff I like to eat.
Formspring: An Anoymous Question: College and Higher Education
Comments, Thoughts, Questions, and anything else.: i was just wondering if you go/went to college or how you felt about higher education.
Yes, I’ve gone to college. I’ve been to several colleges. I haven’t graduated yet and currently on leave from my most current school. I’ve been to a university of California, a private Catholic university, a community college, and two prestigious art schools. I’ve changed majors so far five times. I was: theater, painting, illustration, film, and fine arts. Plus, I was part of and lead several clubs and organizations. My current GPA is around a 3.5. I’ve studied on the West coast and the East coast. I’ve been through about six years of college so far. I know college very well. I might graduate someday. I have enough credits for it just none in the right places.
Overall, I was very disappointed with college. It was a lot of work but it wasn’t hard. I was hoping to find intelligent life and people I could relate to. I didn’t which is why I changed schools so many times because I thought perhaps it was the school and the crowd it attracted. First university was all sex, drugs, and beer. I’m straightedge and not into partying so I didn’t have much of a social life. The people were plastic, superficial and materialistic. So, I tried going to the extreme opposite which was a private Catholic university. The Catholic university was too Catholic - they taught creationism in the science classes and people thought that was a good thing so I had to leave. The art schools were pretentious, highly competitive, and cut throat. My fellow students were mean and jerks. The community college was something I tried to do to just get a few credits while in limbo but being surrounded by the people who attended it depressed me so much I just had to drop out.
I think college is a system within the System. It’s part of the capitalistic machine to train the next generation of workers. It’s also a system of control. Knowledge is power and the rich don’t want to part with it. Depending on which college you go to depends on what education you will get. If you go to Standford, they’ll teach you to be a CEO. If you go to a state school, they teach you to be a manager. It’s very classist because college is about the money not about teaching. If you can’t afford it, you’ll be working minimum wage jobs for the rest of your life with a few rare exceptions. In college, it’s more of the formal conditional received through the public school system as they try to control how you’ll think and relate to the world. They fill your head full of knowledge that has their slant to it. They want you to think in their terms with their ideas. They don’t want you thinking for yourself.
With that being said, the only way the system is going to change is if the people change it. The only way the system is going to change is from within. Have you seen the movie SLC Punk? Stevo’s realization that you can do more harm to the system from within than from the outside leads him to go back to school to become a lawyer. The only way the we’re going to destroy the system of control is to become the system then dismantle it. If the people don’t want the system to be there, it wouldn’t be there. We could build a new world.
I think college education is important to become the system to fight the system. I am considering going back to school to get a women’s and gender studies degree and then going on to get a PH.D. I want to teach the world about peace, love, freedom from oppression and hierarchies, and equality. However, I recently talked to a former professor of mine who has a PH.D and mentioned my idea, thinking that having a credential would make people more willing to listen to me. His exact words to me were, “I have a PH.D and it doesn’t make people listen to me.” So, I am unsure right now if I really need school. It all depends on what you want to do with your life and if school will help get you there. It’s a personal thing and the answer is different for everyone.
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Everyone is busy but nothing ever gets done.
The illusion of self-importance and all encompassing excuse to the world, “I’m busy.” No one is really busy. Ever. Everything is fake. We create systems and structures to create jobs to create work to create the illusion of busyness. I believe anyone saying they are busy is using a lame cop-out to avoid doing what they’d rather not do or find too trivial. From my experiences, it’s always the “busiest” people who have the most time. If it’s important to you, you find a way to make time for it. Yet, billions of humans are working each and every day yet nothing is seemingly accomplished. We are still stuck on this planet in a war-torn world with hungry, poverty, and illness. If there was ever anything worth doing - wouldn’t it be to stop the war, feed the hungry, end poverty, and cure all illnesses? Humans focus on imaginary things like earning money and maximizing profit with dollars and cents that don’t really exist. Things that really matter, they are “too busy” for. Or they forfeit their own will and say “It’s not my responsibility.” To this I say: Bullshit. No God has ever come down from heaven and bestowed these horrors upon man. Only man has created the world and has royalty fucked it up. Everyone is busy pointing the finger at everyone else but no one stands up and says, “I did it now let’s fix this mess.” I am embarrassed by my parents, grandparents, great grandparents and my entire lineage for neglecting to take care of my fellow man and protecting the planet. If we - humanity - really wanted a healthy planet - we could have it. It’s about being strong enough to say, “No.” to those who are destroying the place. It’s about not building their weapons or buying their products made in sweatshops. It’s about acting locally and thinking globally. It’s about not being too busy to do what needs to be done to heal the world and doing your part to make a difference. If you don’t have money to donate, donate time, a smile, a helping hand. Stop being a selfish, lazy asshole. The world can change and it starts with you.
