A feminist, queer punk rocker with a mohawk and tattoos sharing her insight with the world.
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Thoughts of Jess Five
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Labels, Poseurs, and Oppressors
People are often uncomfortable with just being themselves. They hide behind labels, subcultures, and factions to define self rather than simply being. There are also those people who don’t fit a label but still try to present themselves that way.
This past week, I had a few people who believed themselves to be certain things when clearly they aren’t what they claim to be. For one of these persons, I decided to ruffle their feathers to see how they would react to controversy by letting them know they weren’t what they presented themselves to be. Instead of providing proof to the contrary, this person decided to pick on me, call me names, and tell me off. Some people don’t know how to handle conflict but I was pointing out what was clear to everyone. There’s a big pink elephant in the room and it’s you.
I often wish I wasn’t human. I ask my dad if I can be another species, and his comment is, “You’re not another species but you can pretend if it makes you happy.” Basically, I can call myself whatever I want – but it doesn’t make it true. The same goes with other people who are so set on defining themselves with mistaken labels. They are like me, wishing to be another species, I can pretend if I like, but it doesn’t make it true.
I usually let people pretend to be what they want to be when they are clearly not that. They feel threatened by people who are the real thing because they are simply wannabes. They form networks of wannabes and live a fake existence. Most people like to believe they are awesome, smart, attractive, and all sorts of things when they clearly aren’t. But they stick around with other losers; never working on improving themselves, and always staying a sad mess. They resort to picking on others to make themselves feel big. Clearly, they are broken inside and not ready to deal with it so they resort to pettiness.
I would have been a victim of some malicious trolls; immature kids, on the internet if I cared and let it upset me. For example, they are so set on trying to prove “how punk they are” by being wicked to others in the community. I am trying to sell my punk vest on etsy because it’s time for it to have a new home. I don’t know anyone worthy of being given such a gift so I figured I’d sell it. It has about 100 hours of labor into it, so it’s worth double than what I am asking for it. For some unknown reason, maybe because they liked the vest and couldn’t afford it, or they are just a mess in their own head, they tried to ridicule me. It didn’t work because I don’t care. I am only writing about this experience to show how they are what they claim not to be. Cruel, immature, and hateful. Everything that punk stands against, these people represent.
Punk isn’t about your studded vest, your colored mohawk, or your crust pants. That’s a uniform anyways. It’s about what’s inside. Peace, equality, and freedom from oppression. Clearly, these people are the oppressors. So, no matter what tattoos they have, what songs they listen, and patches they sew on they will always be a poseur. They are followers, imprisoned to their pack because no one else wants to be their friends because they are losers by the nature they are what they hate. They will never admit it to themselves because to admit a truth would have their whole world come undone. The saddest thing is, even if they disagree with me, they won’t be able to formulate an intelligent argument beyond swear words and pointing fingers. They never look in the mirror and can recognize they are the problem because they have blinders on.
With that being said, I define myself into boxes not as absolutes – nothing is black and white, but as guides to assist. Unlike the poseurs, I don’t have an image I am presenting that I’ll give up everything to maintain just to continue living a lie. I live life fully without fear. The poseurs live in constant fear of reality which is their choice. They live a life not of reality but of spectacle and melodrama. Everything in the world is about them. They are very selfish. They are people I want not to be associated with.
Maybe that’s why it’s time to sell my vest. Those who are “punk” aren’t really punk. I don’t want to be associated with people who are a lot of talk and never any action. People who have to hide behind a computer to make jabs at others because they are so uncomfortable in their own skin. Cowards and oppressors. Being exactly what I am fighting against. I have no time for you.
Designs and Punk Gear on Etsy
So, I thought I finished my jewelry designs. I have four done so far. But inspiration struck and I am trying to figure out this design. It’s going to be something great and iconic. It’s a logo for something that has yet to be define and needs definition to represent itself to the world at large. I can do this. So, my brain is currently in logo land.
I’ll share my work once they are made/copyrighted and all that fun stuff. The pieces have anarchist/feminist/queer/vegan themes to them. The idea of the project is to donate some of the profits to charities to support the different causes. So, you get a cool piece of jewelry plus help fight the good fight.
So, I’m an artist or I pretend to be. I am still working on some awesome paintings that I’ll post pictures of them when they are done. I have very little of my current work online but you can see it on my etsy if you want.
I have a patch I made and a few vests I worked on for sell online. For stuff, here at etsy.com. The Riot Grrrl vest has about 2,000+ studs on it. They aren’t the cheap studs either, they are steel with bronze. Which means if you are daring like I was, you can wash it without it getting rusty. I hang dried it. It’s really clean though so I don’t think it needs to be washed again. It’s really awesome but it’s like 8 pounds of studding. The other vest is really cool and a lot lighter. It’s a classic punk vest. It’s a little ironic with the band Conflict being painted on leather. It has about 1,000 studs on it. It’s pretty easy to repaint over the bands if you don’t want those/want different ones. I used Tester Acrylic Paint Markers.
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Queer Zine - Call for Submissions
I went looking for the underground - the place were queer punks, anarchists, and free thinkers hide. A place free from hierarchies and oppression. A place where people could be themselves and be accepted. I found the underground but I didn’t find what I was looking for. But, somehow along the way, I became what I was seeking. I am the revolution. I can’t be the only one. I want to find the others.
*****
In a world treated like a machine; where everything is a commodity to be bought and sold, there lives a human who dreams of something more: community, solidarity, and connection. Can what they seek be found in such a world?
*****
Basically, my idea for the zine is two-folds: writing of an ideal underground that doesn’t exist quite yet almost like the groundwork for such a place; a manifesto of sorts, and the journey of a person to find if such a place exists. Part fact, part fiction, and queer as queer can be.
*****
So, what do I want from you? Poems, vegan recipes, drawings, gay shame theme material. Not looking to have it be anything beyond PG-13. I haven’t set the idea in stone yet - so it’s all just brewing. I have some jewelry designs I need to finish up this week before I start working on the zine. I haven’t decided how I am going to publish it yet - I might even make it a small book/pamphlet - maybe color if you have color works. We’ll see what comes of it.
I just read two issues of J.D’s last night from QZAP and I am fairly confident I can do an awesome job of putting together something that’s radical, queer, punk, and interesting.
Contact me for more details. You can email me - kale.and.glitter (at) gmail (dot) com.
Thanks! Hope to hear from someone. Don’t be shy. This could be an awesome project. :)
Punk 101: Studs and Spikes
Where would punk rockers be without studs and spikes? I recommend only using studs because it’s not mosh pit friendly having spikes. You can really hurt someone with spikes. I never wear spikes - because I don’t trust myself not to stab myself with them.
Studs and spikes are the perfect accessory to any punk look. They are intimidating and shiny. The best website to get studs and spikes from is http://studsandspikes.com/.
Denim is pretty easy to stud. You just take the stud, push it through the fabric, and use a spoon or pliers to bend the ends secure. Studding leather is a little bit more involved. First, you need to put the stud on the leather and let the prongs leave a mark. Then, where the mark is left from the prongs, take a dart and make holes in the leather. Then put the prongs through the hole and use a spoon or pliers to secure the stud in place. For a video tutorial go here.
It takes a lot of time to stud things so be patient. I usually prefer studs with some space between them because solid studding gets really heavy. I have a vest that’s very well studded and it weights 8 pounds. My favorite studded vest has about 100 studs on the back - it looks awesome without being too heavy. Sometimes less is more - remember that. Good luck! Happy studding!
On Vegetarianism - thinking about going Vegan again
This has been on my mind for a few days. I watched The Meatrix a few days ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about one scene. I thought by being vegetarian - I was free of consuming anything flesh-like. Apparently, that’s not true because the meat industry feeds the dairy cows both cow’s blood and animal byproducts. Really, really gross.
One of my acquaintance made the mistake of asking how I was. Never ask me this unless you really want to know. I mentioned I was thinking about going vegan and and she asked “why” I was thinking about being vegan. I should have known better to stop the conversation there because such things with meat eaters always end in conflict. I told her I was already a vegetarian and that I found out they feed calves blood which is gross. She agreed with me and mentioned she enjoyed eating meat. I should have politely withdraw from the conversation at that point - which I will do next time - but I commented how eating meat is eating a tortured corpse. She was like, “Some people see it that way, other don’t.” Which I responded, “It doesn’t matter what your belief is - it’s what it is.”
The conversation went downhill at that point. As I believe meat eating to be one of the most selfish things a person can do. It’s literally saying, “I get pleasure from your pain. My life is more valuable than yours.” which is completely unnecessary in this day and age where we control our food supply and grow lots of vegetables. It’s also a waste of energy getting food energy from first making it into meat and not taking it in it’s direct form. I see meat eating as being a murderer. I do not tolerate it in any shape or form.
What about vegetarianism? I was vegan for about four months but honestly, I got lazy. I liked pancakes and certain things that I fell back in the habit of having eggs and dairy. So, I figured I’d stick with being a vegetarian. I’m way too sensitive to eat meat. I knew the eggs and dairy industry were bad and the animals had unhappy lives. I thought I could live with that but lately, I haven’t been feeling it. Rather, I feel so deeply that unlike how most people are desensitized and detached - I really feel the effect of everything I do.
I used to be your average kid doing average things: playing violent video games, watching violent movies, and feasting on the dead. I was a proud product of the system; a registered democrat - I drove down to the post office on my 18th birthday to register to vote and do my civil duties. I thought freedom and equality was established with civil war and women’s rights movement. That Martin Luther King ended racism. In other words, rather brainwashed. The system did a good job on me.
Then a lot of things happened. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. I always questioned things like I wasn’t sure if we really landed on the moon. But, I never thought to question myself and my foundation. It was outside my scope of experience. As I became more aware, I thought maybe I should become vegetarian but I never thought I could do it. I thought I liked meat too much. I was really conditioned. I started getting into riot grrrl and some punk my first year of college. I didn’t even know it was called “riot grrrl” back then.
Anyways, after lots and lots of questioning - still questioning and searching I arrive at who I am today. I am still growing and am not the final product by any means. Maybe the next step in the evolution is to go vegan because I can’t stand what they do to the animals. Life is life and precious. I have no right to decide if certain animals like pets should have a life of luxury while others have hell simply because they make stuff I like to eat.
Punk Rock 101: A Vegetarian Queer Punk’s Guide to New York City
There aren’t many queer punks in NYC. I was one of maybe 10. The days of Meow Mix and riot grrrl are long gone. Most of NYC’s lesbian scene is lipstick lesbians modeling their life after the L-Word or hipsters who talk a lot and drink PBR but don’t do much. There’s a lot of segregation in the queer scene in NYC - depending on the color of your skin and economic class determines which parties you’d go to. I didn’t like that. I wish all the queers would unite and work together to fight against being oppressed. I tried to change it by putting on a couple of concerts trying to invite everyone to come but it didn’t really work.
Anyways, NYC is really big and corporate. That’s why I left but there are a handful of places that are DIY (do-it-yourself) or worth checking out.
First place on my guide is Abc No Rio. Abc No Rio is in the Lower East Side at 156 Rivington Street. It has a mix of everyone. There are punk shows every Saturday at 3pm. There’s also a zine library, a dark room, a silkscreen studio, and a computer lab all open to the public (hours of opening vary - check out their website for details). A couple of blocks away at 152 Ludlow Street is the Cake Shop which has live music, sells vegan, and non-vegan treats. The Cake Shop is also home of the ONLY Queer Punk Party QxBXRx which happens once a month hosted by one of the boys from Limp Wrist. It’s usually mostly boys with a handful of girls but it’s a good scene - good social scene not a cruising scene. There’s usually a few queer bands that play and it’s a fun time. Around the corner from the Cake Shop is Bluestockings Bookstore. It is located at 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington. It’s an activist center, a fair trade cafe (not much food - more drinks), and bookstore. There’s all sorts of books there from activism, anarchy, queer theory, queer literature, women’s studies, and anything else alternative you can think of. They also host events almost every night, so check out their calendar. About 8 blocks away and an avenue or two over from Bluestockings is St. Mark’s Place (2nd - 3rd Avenue on 8th street is the main strip) which was home to all things radical in the past. It’s has a few cool stores like Trash and Vaudeville which has anything punk you can dream of. There’s also Search and Destroy which has lots of military surplus clothing. There’s also lots of little stores on the street selling all sorts of things - it’s a cool place to check out. While you there, stop by Mamouns Falafel at 22 St. Mark’s Place for really good and cheap eats. If pizza is more your thing, 2 Bros Pizza is just a few doors down and has dollar pizza.
If you head on over to the West Village, the best punk record store in the city is Generation Records located at 210 Thompson Street. They have all the punk you could want and then some. There’s also a couple of cool chess shops on the street which might be worth checking out.
That’s about it for punk places to visit. However, there’s a handful of other neat places that I think is worth mentioning. In the West Village, there’s Red Bamboo and VP2 which are amazing vegetarian restaurants owned by the same people. You should definitely save room for the vegan cakes made by Vegan Treats which are driven into the City every Tuesday. Atlas Cafe in the East Village also has cakes by Vegan Treats but for some reason they never taste as good as Red Bamboo’s. Atlas Cafe has some great faux meat sandwiches. I also recommend Quantum Leap which has two locations - one in the West Village and one in the East. They have the best veggie burgers I’d ever had.
Bonus: Where to get Tattoo’ed/Pierced in NYC
If you want awesome tattoos, your going to have to pay for them but it’s worth it. It’s a lifetime investment. I got my ink done at NY Adorned. My artist has since moved to Austin or I would recommend her. I get compliments on my tattoos all the time - and they are some of the best I have seen. However, the guy who worked the front at NY Adorned was really rude but all the artists are amazing so pay no attention to him. If you want to get pierced, I’d go to Daredevil Tattoo which is also home of LeRoi Jewelry which specializes in all things piercings. Daredevil also does some amazing tattoos so I would check them out. I’ve also been told Invisible does awesome tattoos. There’s a couple of other good places that I can’t remember their names, but that should be enough to get you started.
Treat Me For Who I Am and Not How I Look
Looks can be deceiving and you can’t judge a person by their looks. For example, who’s more threatening: a blue haired mohawked, tattoo studded jacket wearing punk rocker or a person wearing nondescript clothing and generic hair? I would say the person who’s wearing the nondescript clothing and generic hair is a greater threat than the blue haired mohawked, tattooed studded jacket wearing punk. Why? Think about it: If the blue mohawked person robbed you – they would be easy to spot and find as they are unique looking and standing out from the crowd. They might look like a threat being so loud but in reality they are harmless because if you are up to no good – you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. The generic hair and nondescript clothing person could rob you and if you tried to describe them to the cops – they just look like everyone else. There are a few exceptions when people who are loud are also violent and crazy but *usually* they are as law abiding as anyone. They dress differently to make a statement and express individuality. The punk rocker might appear to be a threat but they are really not to you as an individual.
People treat me funny because I am tattooed, pierced, and mohawked. All it is really is their fear of the unknown showing. Think about it: if I was really a danger I wouldn’t go around advertising the fact . There are a few exceptions to the rules but most of the time when someone advertises being a radical, they aren’t up to anything illegal. They might have different ideas than the mainstream and philosophies and be a threat to the status quo but they aren’t breaking any laws.
Laws are there to give people the illusion they are “safe”. Think about it: if there was a law to enforce identification cards (like they are planning in the UK) only the law abiding citizens will do it. The criminals don’t care about the law and won’t follow it or get fake IDs. It’s to give the masses, the sheep, the appearance of order in the chaos we exist in. The criminals will be criminals and do illegal things while the masses fall into line. The ID card is a stupid idea and very 1984ish because it only applies to who will follow the law to begin with.
More laws equal less freedom. Sure, common courtesy laws like not stealing or killing are nice to have to protect me from your average idiot. I am an anarchist and sometimes I am grateful for the police to protect me from stupid people. For instance, the police helped me out when I was punched in the face for being a “homosexual.” In an ideal, anarchical society, the person would behave like an anarchist and respect his fellow human beings – however, the assaulter was moronic, angry and fucked up so I need the police to protect me from people like that.
However, I am against police brutality and abuse of power. There is a difference in keeping people safe from the idiots of the world and harassing someone because they have a studded vest. One time, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time eating pizza on the steps of Search and Destroy in NYC and the police treated me like I was a criminal when all I was doing was eating pizza. It was pretty scary – they patted me down and violated my rights all because they have nothing else to do. There’s also the cops who give out traffic tickets for being a few miles over the speed limit to make their quota. Things like that are an abuse of power – laws are there to keep you safe from other human’s stupidity not be a money making tool.
That is not the case in our capitalistic society. The law system and prison system are money making tools. It’s really messed up.
The question is: How will this change? The answer: Is with you. If the people were to stop profiling and treat people for who they are and not what they look like we would have a stronger, happier society.
Essay: Genderqueer
Are you a boy or a girl?” A perplexed waitress at a Dunkin’ Donut in the heart of New York City asked of me when I entered the shop. “I just wanted a muffin; I don’t think my gender matters.” I said but she didn’t seem to understand, she was rather too interested on what was in my pants. “Are you a boy or a girl?” I sighed. I don’t identify as either being genderqueer but I don’t like having to explain myself all the time to everyone. Mostly because people can only wrap their head around the gender binary and not think outside the box. It got me thinking though, why do perfect strangers care too much about what’s in my pants? It doesn’t matter to anyone unless they wanted to sleep with me. But, for some reasons, this lady’s whole identity was formed around a world of boys and girls. I bite the bullet since I really wanted my muffin, “I’m a girl.” She let out a relieved sigh and then got my muffin. Again, I was forced into the oppressive gender binary to comply with the needs of an oppressive society. It isn’t just the males that oppress; it is also other women who’ve been conditioned to think as such.
In an ideal society, I would have been able to get my muffin without being hassled about what’s in my pants. However, this is America – home of the free if you are rich and fix into neat boxes. Most people can’t wrap their head around genderqueer – which is outside of the gender binary. I am something else – not just another gender but I am beyond gender. People can at least understand transsexual, but when it comes to genderqueer, people just don’t get it. They want to box you in. I am sometimes envious of my transsexual allies because they have a gender identity to claim – even if they are handicapped by being born into the wrong body. I, however, have no place to go. No identity. I suck it up and usually go with lesbian because I am female bodied and like women but that doesn’t describe me. I’m queer but queer is considered to be such a dirty word by polite society.
The LGlittleBinvisibleT community has no love for anyone who’s not a Stepford Gay. If you don’t fit the mold of what a “safe” gay is – being gay but assimilating, the community turns their back on you. It is a threat to society, the mainstream, the social constructed order, to be an individual and think for yourself. We live in a society based on group think with team sports, entertainment and job rhetoric paving the way for the classless individual who functions as a cog in the well oiled machine of greed and anonymity. I – for one, am not going to be part of any machine. I’m not going to wear the clothes they tell me to wear, I’m not going to watch their programming (it’s called programming for a reason), and not going to take part in their world of a giant rat race.
I am going to fight the system with knowledge and education, compassion and understanding. As Crass said, “You can’t change the system by bombing number ten, the people will go into hiding but they’ll be back again.” The only way to change the system is to change the people. The only way to change the people is with education.
Sometimes, it’s really hard, trying to change things. I struggle with trying to get people to understand what “genderqueer” means. Sometimes, it’s dangerous just being who you are. Every third day, a transperson is murdered. I’ve been assaulted before at a punk show which was supposed to be about peace and equality for being a “homosexual. “ I just want a world where I can go to punk shows without getting punched and get a muffin without being hassled about what’s in my pants. I can’t do it alone. Will you help me?
